Life is simple if we let it be.
Everything that was good in this life was wrapped up in that little boy. He was kind, nice and smart - everything our family was not. When they brought his body up the stairs I knew it was over. I would never be the same, life would never be the same and I would feel utterly alone for the rest of my life… I was fifteen.
The day my brother died was the beginning of the end. My world changed so drastically, I was never that little girl again. Ever since then, I’ve been searching for a way back to simplicity, back to a time and place that is clean without complication, light and free!
What is the driving force behind what I do? Who is Captain Awesome and why should you care?
My whole life, I’ve been searching for answers. Ones that will take me to a better place, out of the abandonment, abuse, sadness and disillusionment of my childhood with the added curve balls life has thrown at me. I believe everyone wants an answer to the shitty things that have happened to us. Answers to; Why did this happen to me? What can I do now? and how can I make this NOT happen again?
Being a private person, I don't talk about my life very much. Bits here and there. People would often say to me “you should put a story to your work (they were talking about my abstracts) - talk about your emotions and why you're doing it.” The thought of that was terrifying…and really, why would I do that?! I paint abstract because it makes me happy and reminds me of all the beauty in life. I don't want to contaminate it with emotions, that’s what therapy is for! That was my logic. But people wanted a story…..I still only paint abstract when I'm happy and want to share joy, sorry folks.
Captain Awesome is a different story. She is a character I can be. Someone with a cool outfit and a ray gun who shoots coloured rainbows! Captain Awesome is everything I want to be, everything I want to say, everything I want to become. She is also NOT me, I don't have pointy ears after all… she is YOU, she is whoever wants to be the captain of her destiny.
I’ve had four tipping points in my life and many markers. Tipping points are experiences that have literally changed the core of who I am. Quite possible changed my DNA. (I don't know if that's possible but it feels like that.) Markers are different. They are things that have influenced me deeply or changed my direction in life. I've had many markers…
One such marker was finding out I was dyslexic. I didn't find this out until I was 22. I had just moved to Ottawa (another marker) and was at EI looking for work. They had great services at the time, one was seeing a career counselor. This woman was amazing. She saw something that nobody, and I mean nobody saw. Not my parents, not teachers or instructors. I don't know what serendipity happened that day, but it changed things for me. Knowing that I wasn't stupid and that I just needed a little help which was a major marker in my life. It put things into perspective that for most of my life made no sense. Why do I suck at math? Not just suck but the school put me in with the ESL kids. Why can’t I tell time on a clock? Why is it when I study really hard I get the same mark as when I barely open my book?
The thing with dyslexia is to find patterns and create systems that make my life work, I’m really good at that. Strategy, systems and patterns. I can't rely on remembering things sequentially so I create and devise systems. I've spent my whole life making systems to be a better person, to not let my emotions get the best of me, to be in charge of my life instead of letting things happen to me, to let go of learned helplessness and to be inspiring to others. This is Captain Awesome. This is the reason I’m doing this and this is why I created Awesome People. To be the captain of my destiny, to learn from my experiences and to pass on what I know.
Life is too short for anything less than AWESOME!
I'm going to be rolling out “The building blocks of an Awesome life” series. (12 step program so to speak.) It’s an amazing personal foundation I’ve been working on for years. How to handle life's curveballs, how to fix things that simply aren't working and what to do to get the most out of this life. It doesn't matter how much money you have or don't have, who you are or where you came from, this is a foundation to contentment. Happiness is elusive, but contentment lasts and ultimately brings happiness.
I’ve had to reinvent myself from my upbringing, as many of us have, this foundation series i'm sharing will hopefully give you some building blocks for yourself. I believe in slow mutations towards the life we want and live to our fullest potential. I hope you’ll join me on this journey of super hero status.